You must become selfish to find peace!

Is it selfish to look after yourself?
Is it a bad thing to put yourself first?

Most woman I work with find this concept hard, as I once did too. I’m from a hard working family and I was taught you have to work hard and many hours to achieve anything. And to be kind to others and help others first. Not a bad message right?

Well what if most of us go through life conditioned by media and our society to thinking it’s not ok to take time for ourselves. Or that to follow your dream and not work in a 9-5 proper job means your lazy. Or that taking a day to rest and look after yourself means you must feel guilty. God forbid a weekend to yourself away from the kids!

To be selfish means to align to your true core beliefs, or your soul. To be happy with your choices and to put your happiness and alignment above anything else. This doesn’t sound bad does it? So why do we have such a hard time doing this simple life skill?


Choosing a positive mindset

When we are building a career or when we have children, often this balance really goes out the window and we believe that to be a good mother or employee we must sacrifice being who we where or really are, or carers or dreams get put aside to just get shit done. I lost my sense of self and had no idea who I was after having my kids, I threw everything into being a mum and healing my boys I forgot to care and love for myself, I was just a mum and not doing a great job of it because I wasn’t caring for my needs. Slowly I have clawed back a great sense of self and refuse to do, say or be anything that compromises that and became a better mother in the process. I,e I put my happiness first above all else. Does that sound bad to you?

To me it means I’m a better mother, friend, lover and wife.


Why do we get sick and why are we always so tired?

Try to put your self first instead of always putting others happiness or their comfort above your own, even your kids. This does not mean being mean to people, not being generous or caring as these are the essence of life. Nor does it mean you can not be a great parent, employee or friend. It means you look after your energy fully so you have loads left over to share. Stop the conditioning crap and excuses and be selfish for once!! Yes you 😘

Choosing a positive mindset

When life isn’t going to plan it can be easy to slip into feeling that things are just not going to get any better, especially when you’re faced with issues that seem out of your control, like the health of your children or yourself.

After our son William was diagnosed with autism, aged 2, I experienced a deep depression.

It wasn’t just the result of William’s diagnosis and the grief I felt for the loss of the future I’d imagined for my family and the diagnosis came after two years of struggling every day in what felt like battle zone.

For two years William’s behavior had challenged us, even when he was tiny he screamed every day. Add to this a difficult pregnancy with my second child, and my onset of chromic fatigue and fibromyalgia, and then our second son Edward was diagnosed with a global developmental delay.

I lost all hope. I felt that nothing good was ever going to happen for my family. I felt completely overwhelmed, i lost the will to live.

But, somehow, amongst the chaos that our lives had become, I chose to let go of the negative mindset I had developed and instead tried very hard to see my world with a positive mindset.

I chose to see the good in our lives. I chose to look past the negatives and appreciate each of the gains my boys made – no matter how small they were. I chose to investigate ways to live a healthier lifestyle. I chose a positive mindset, and I haven’t looked back each day I get stronger and more positive. I am now strong in my mind and live each day asa happy confident woman with a healthy family. That is somewhere back then I could never see happening.

Mindset is definitely a choice. Anyone can choose to focus on the positives and anticipate happiness, health and success – and be much better for it.

A positive mindset can give you the feeling that anything is possible and allows you to look forward with hope. It also gives you freedom to look innovatively at the challenges you face and find solutions that a negative mindset may have not allowed you to see.


Thinking positively also gives you an opportunity to see the help being offered by others, and to embrace it.

Alternatively, by choosing to think negatively you can be left feeling that the world is against you, people are there to hurt you, that there are no positives on the horizon and you may find yourself drawn to conflict or combative situations.

For families with autistic children, your day-to-day struggles will continue to overwhelm you and you may not have the strength to help you family make the best of every situation.

Is it time you chose a positive mindset and gave yourself permission to feel happy, recognise your achievements and look forward to the future with hope?

You can do this and I’m here if you would like me to help you and your family along the way.

Please contact me for a free consultation on how I can help you on your pathway to health. Mindset is the key!


Blessings x x