What are “Soul Mates” and do they exist?

Yes they can exist for each and everyone of us!

This is something I never believed until I met my husband Robin. I just thought you meet someone you like and with hard work it turns to love and a good marriage. My grandparents had a great loving relationship and so do my parents so I believed in marriage and love but just not the fairy tale side of love at first sight and soul mates.

I now believe we have many soul mates or connections of the soul. These can be fleeting moments when you feel you have met that person before or known them on a deeper level but in actual fact you have only just met them. It could be a friendship that connects on a soul level and you are just bound together for life or in a meeting of twin souls where you’re sure you have been together once before in whatever space, time, realm or galaxy.

Can you have more than one? Yes I personal feel you can . . . So what is a “Soul Mate”? When you were stardust before all your atoms, molecules and protons become the matter that formed your conscious being. You were floating around or maybe had been another object, plant or person and before that other infinite reincarnations. Therefore the likelihood that your soul has met another soul and found each other again is quite high because we know in quantum physics like attracts like. So if your soul or your stardust essence with it’s hidden memories remembers while our conscious active mind does not remember meeting that soul fragment or stardust again. It can then awaken and says yes yes yes we know each other we loved each other before when we were once one. The mind does not know this but the body feels it and sends out all the lovely hormones and triggers to say I want this person you are in love or in relationships that just feel an instant connection and reward.

So I’ll tell you our love story and this might all make sense. In this story you will see Law of Attraction at play several times. When you are in state of love or euphoria or a calm centred space it is much easier to manifest love, wealth and happiness for it to instantly come to life without delay. When you’re not in this place you send wishes out to the universe and the delay make you doubt it will happen. That is where the art of letting go and trusting will serve you well.

On the 1st of January 2004 I wrote my “Soul Mate List” I did not know what it was called or even that I was being spiritual. I just wrote in my dairy all the things I wanted to find in a person. But hang on I should add in some background here I moved to London at 15 ½ years old and worked very hard to become a qualified Master Colour Technician very fast. With my parents help I thrived in London, I brought my first flat at 17 and my first house at 18. I moved to a few high quality Mayfair and Kensington salons to find my fit, I partied very hard and travel with work to Paris and New york. At 18 I moved into management roles and eventual settled at a salon in Westbourne Grove. Here I had a successful hairdressing carer but a boss who was a manipulative, narcissistic bastard. He dangled a carrot of the business becoming mine to encourage me to work beyond my capacity and run myself into the ground. At this low point I felt depressed and lonely although people surrounded me. I was unfit, unhealthy and had a carer I no longer felt any passion for.

I started to ask myself what do I want from life? Is this it now I asked? Is it all about work, work, work . . . save, save, save and shall I just put up with this feeling of disconnection in my heart? All I had done since I was 15 was to work while my friends partied at university. I had achieved a good wage and houses that made me good money. I had a few meaningless relationships and put too much energy into superficial friendships. I had forgotten to harvest my true friendships. There was lots of play and adventure’s but nothing that made me feel alive . . . again I asked myself is there more to life or will I carry on like this till I’m 30 (seemed so old then hahah!)

Then I wrote my first list of “Manifestations” but again did not know about ‘The Law of Attraction’. I just wrote all the things in my life I wanted like travel, adventure, true love, self esteem, calmness, lasting friendships, my own business and success. Then as if by magic my second house went up in price and I had a lump sum of money available to me . . . as if without thinking or worrying about it I booked an around the world ticket without an end date. I rented my house and quit my job. Within 2 months I was on a plane to South Africa!

It was here on the 1st of January I wrote my “Soul Mate List” it was just a list of all the things I would like to find in a partner. Again I did not have the wisdom to know what this was called it just felt right.

Like:

Strong

Active

Funny

Adventurous

Blue eyes

Handsome

Successful

Loyal

Loving

Loves animals

Charming

Loves travel

Loves cooking and food

Loves to live abroad

Loves me unconditionally and whole heartedly

I clearly forgot hair, as Robin is bald hahah!

But you get the picture. After Robin and I had been together for a few months we were looking back at dates for our visa application and realised that on the same day the 1st of January Robin had also written a “Soul Mate List’ too, his was formatted differently but stated the person he wanted to meet and the life he wanted with that person.

So how did we meet?

I warn you it’s a long story but a good romantic one that I think is worth me finally writing down after 11 years in love. I arrived in Kaikoura on the east coast of New Zealand on a Stray tour bus (The Orange Bus of Love) and I was already booked into a hostel. After whale watching I unpacked and headed downstairs to explore. I stood outside and watched about 10-15 tourists crossing the street and when I think back was drawn to watch one man in a bad tea towel like shirt. Later I think back and realise that was my first sighting of Robin. It wasn’t like I thought “I fancy him” or “look at him!” It was more a feeling of “I know him.”

Trusting your Instincts and how it can help you find your path to health.

The hostel was serving free soup and as I came into the 50’s style kitchen I stood at the back of a long line and each person had a bowl and a spoon. So I cracked a joke that ‘we looked like something from Oliver Twist’. Nobody flinched, so I had another crack ”maybe more like a soup kitchen”. At this point Robin tells me he was so tied from sleeping in his car as he couldn’t afford a hostel (he booked into this one as it had free soup!) that he thought please someone answer her. Nobody did, so he took pity on me and turned around, we instantly started talking and passions and similarities flooded out especially talking about Africa.

I said I’d love to talk more as we spooned in our soup into the bowls and I took one slice of bread and Robin took an entire loaf of bread with his soup, later to realise this was normal for him. I left the kitchen and sat at a table for 2 waiting for this new and exciting man to join me. He walked straight past me and sat on the sofa. Lucky one of the friends I’d made joined me, as I was feeling a little heartbroken that he walked past me. Later he told me that earlier he had spotted me talking to 5 guys at the bar and thought one of them was my boyfriend and that I must have been saving a table for them. Luckily after the soup I went and sat next to him on the sofa and started up the conversation again. We talked and laughed so much people kept telling us to leave the room. At this point I invited him to join me to listen to a band that was playing at a pub at the end of the road. I had also previously invited a few others so at 9pm we all set off to the bar. Robin tried his hardest to buy me a drink and chat but as we were a group it was hard to connect like we previously had. So I suggested we take a long walk on the beach. We walked down the verge and on to the beach to which Robin failed to tell me there was a massive estuary and I got very wet but I soon forgave him as I was smitten by this time. We walked and talked and we stopped. The beach was made from giant stones so it was hard to stay stable, so I grabbed his arms and as I did this a massive bright shooting star shot through the bright starry night sky. All I thought was kiss me . . . and he didn’t so I thought ‘oh shame I thought he was too good to be true he must be guy’. He later told me that his thoughts at this moment were ‘this is perfect, she is perfect and if she is the girl I think she is I will marry her and we will be talking about this moment for years to come. Kissing her will cheapen this moment”. Knowing this now, I let him off!

We went on to another bar danced and had the best night until we found ourselves at 5am. Robin had whale watching at 6am which I had done the day before and I was heading off on my tour bus to Picton at 7am. We both felt excited, scared, sad and love all at once. I said goodbye and we kissed so passionately. He then said ‘why don’t I drive you to Picton so we can spend the day together’ of course I said yes and while he was Whale watching I prepared a picnic and arranged for my friend to save me a bed in the dorm at Picton.

The most magical day followed with so much laughter talking and moments that felt so right like we had known each other for a lifetime. Our drive, passions, and dreams were so similar, he was everything on my list. Other than the 4 kids he wanted and had named already . . . to which I said ‘I’m never having kids!’ He said he could bend on that.

We walked along the most amazing beaches and sat and had lunch in front of a colony of seals and one big daddy walrus seal! We later started to drive up to Picton stopping for any excuse to prolong the goodbye. We had the most romantic dinner that Robin put on Oxfam (which was his credit card for emergencies) he then dropped me to my hostel where my friend had failed to save me a bed. Therefore I came out to Robin’s car and asked if he would drive to find me another hostel. After 5 attempts all we could find was a double room! Oh cheeky universe! We also broke into the hostel swimming pool at night and had a cheeky swim. By this time we had been talking almost none stop for 24 hours and had learnt most things about each other including the bad bits. Robin was due to leave at 3am to get the ferry to the North Island so we spoke some more and said goodbye, which just felt so wrong. I feel asleep in the room just feeling like it had all been a dream. I found my friends In the morning and we headed off around the South Island. We were all close friends on the ‘Orange Bus of Love’ so I was talking it all over and so many people just kept saying ‘what are you doing why are you not together?’ The thing is Robin was at the end of his year long trip and was heading to South America then back home to the UK to work. I had just started, it was my second country and I had big plans. But I had the feeling that I was going to marry this man. I felt that it was real love and I couldn’t ignore it.

After the second day away from him I called his mobile to say ‘why don’t I come up to the North Island and spend the last 6 days with you before you fly to South America?’ When I got through to a voice mail and with an entire bus load of fellow travellers egging me on I left a message and my heart sank thinking I’d missed my chance. After an agonising wait a text came back saying “cool bananas” to which point I had to ask my friends to translate, as I had no clue what that meant! We celebrated in style drinking Teapots in Queenstown and I got the overnight bus to the airport and arrived in Auckland the next day, 48 hours after I had said goodbye to Robin. It was the surrealist emotions running through me waiting to see someone I’d just met but knew I was in love with already. We headed to the Coromandel Peninsular for 5 spectacular days and celebrated valentines day on the 11th February when spontaneously we presented each other with cards . . . I look back and think how random we choose that day to bring out cards for each other. Then the day to say goodbye again came, the 13th February. We said we would wait for each other and that after my trip I would return to London and we would pick it back up. Robin gave me his Australia/New Zealand pay-as-you-go phone to keep in touch with me. The goodbye was horrid. It was the first time EVER Robin couldn’t eat his food and I didn’t click as I kept asking if there was something wrong with it (but now I know he was love sick). We embraced like we were dying; it was so intense I could not feel my legs. I could not speak, I was desperate to tell him I loved him but the words would not come out after all I had only know him 6 days in total and did not want to seem crazy. Robin tells me he was trying to tell me the same but was too devastated to speak any words. Then he gets on his bus and leaves me at the Auckland Base backpackers unable to move from the street. Eventually something clicked and I ran to the computer room (this was 11 years a ago) and wrote him an email saying I loved him, that I want to be with him forever and that I will wait for him. I then sent an email to my best friends saying I’d met the man I was going to marry to which they replied: yeah yeah we, heard that in Turkey hahah! Then suddenly an email popped up from Robin titled ‘I love you too” my heart skipped several beats as I read his reply telling me just how he felt was just how I felt. We emailed each other everyday while he was in South America. I finished my trip in NZ and headed to see my best friend in Melbourne.

Whilst there we still chatted when we could and emailed daily. One day a call came through on Robin’s mobile, I explain it was no longer his phone but I could pass on a message. Later that day I spoke to Robin and said a company had called saying they had work for you. I didn’t think more of it as Robin was going home to a promotion and a good job and had been away for 1 year already. He calls me the next day saying ‘what do I think if I come to stay in Melbourne for 3 months as there is work and we could be together?’ my calm subtle reaction was to scream ’YES YES YES‘ kicking my legs and shouting ‘I love you’ – very subtly huh. So a few weeks later Robin arrives at Melbourne airport after a brief visit back to the UK to see his family who he had not seen for a year and go to his best friends wedding and tell them he is going back because he has met a girl! We spent 3 ½ fun packed months falling in love with each other and planning our lives together which included coming back to Melbourne. Another good-bye as I carried on my trip, as we never wanted our meeting to stop my plans to find my own self and find my time for my adventures and me.

I had a blast traveling with my friend Shona who got all the details and had to listen to endless “I love you calls”- she later read a reading at our wedding and still plays such a massive part in our marriage. It then comes to me returning home on December the 4th and after speaking most days and emailing daily I was ready to start our lives together. He had been to meet my Mum in London without me to drop my things off to her and she gave me her approval of him.

The airport scene was straight out of the movie Love Actually. I had not held him for 4 months and was almost scared to see him but so excited as well. He was waiting with a gigantic bouquet of beautiful pink flowers and our hug was surreal and magical where my subconscious had been imaging it for so long my body did not connect to what was happening . . .we were not aware until after we had broken that long passionate kiss that the people in the airport were clapping as our run and embrace was so dramatic, and also most of the ladies thought Robin had been stood up as it took me ages to get my bags and he looked so nervous. We went straight to London to stay with friends and for me to sleep, then we headed to his Mums 60th birthday party which was in a church hall in London with ALL of Robins family and ALL of his friends. Surprising to say I was worried of what they would think of me and if they would approve. Meeting all of Robin’s loved ones in one room at one time was very daunting. We walked in and said hello to a few people then got into our surprise position. Jean and Bob my glorious now parent in laws walked in and we all shouted ‘surprise”. There were Aunts and Uncles she had not seen for years, her best friends her grandchildren everyone but she walked straight to me and hugged me with such love and acceptance I will never forgot that moment when she told me she approved and then Bob gave me a massive loving hug too. I was home with my love and his family and it felt so right. The next two weeks were a blur of seeing friends and getting back into my London house. Then we went down to my parents who lived in Weymouth Dorset for Robin to meet my Dad. This was tense trip to say the least. I had once told Robin on that first night that if I could meet a man like my father with his values and loyalty I would be lucky as he is my hero and I adore my father. Suffice to say Robin was bricking it. The Saturday my Mum was at work and Dad picked us up off the train and we hug like only my Dad and I can hug which is to say everything to each other without a word. It had been a year and a year was along time without a Dad hug for me.

Then after that hug my Dad turned into a testosterone fuelled Silver Back Gorilla and once we were at home I called Mum and cried that my Dad does not like Robin what am I going to do. I had also told Robin that if my Dad does not approve of my man he would stand no chance as my Dads opinion means the world to me. So you can see the panic I was in. Mum arrives home and eases it as she and Robin connected straight away and become very close as mother and son. After a stressful day I retire to bed early leaving Robin with Mum and Dad. The next morning I woke up and everyone was down stairs already but the mood was very different. Dad had his arm around Robins shoulders as he asked him how many rashers of bacon he wanted. I glanced over to mum in shock and she just shrugged Dad swears he did not tell mum. Relieved they were getting on I let it go. Another few weeks pass and we prepared for our first Charismas together. Robin had moved into my London house and we were decorating the real tree with popcorn strings and real oranges and candles it was cold and just so Christmassy and perfect, we had a roast in the oven and champagne flowing. We were having everyone at my house the next day I was just so blissful and content, also a tad drunk but hay it was Christmas! Suddenly Robin got upset over nothing and Robin is very laid back. He went upstairs and I just thought he must be tied. Later I went up and he was mess. Asking him what was wrong he was fumbling his words and kept taking about he had not brought me a gift and I might not like what he got me, and rambled about my Dad and life and it was all a bit of an odd chat . . .until he drops to one knee and pulls out this gorgeous handmade walnut box with a stunning platinum diamond ring and asked if I would marry him. Just like my subtly style I shouted ‘YES YES YES’ and fell into his arms. He then told me that weekend we visited my parents he had asked my Dad for my hand in marriage, hence the change from ‘Silver Back Gorilla’ to ‘come here son have some bacon routine at breakfast’. To say Christmas was magical would be an understatement. We surprised my Mum first at Christmas morning then Robin parents at lunch then travelled around telling all we love but no one was shocked. My mum and everyone else just said they knew it would happen. His parents had bubbles ready so did my Grandad who even before I said it popped the cork to celebrate us. The best was visiting my best school friends and they picked me up from the train station and I wore gloves I was trying to wait for all of us to be together at the pub but I couldn’t keep it in and whipped of my glove causing Catherine to swerve and nearly crash to car. By the October that New Year 2005 we were living back in Melbourne and forging a great life together.

Robin is my ‘Soul Mate’ and we dreamt each other up just when we needed each other and the universe brought us together justice the universe bring you everything you need at the time you need it when you ask. I also believe I have soul connections with friends and some of my friends are almost like sisters or wives we are so close. My beautiful dog Lola was my soul sister, we were one in so many ways and I feel incomplete without her.

Choosing a positive mindset

So if your looking for yours maybe make your list, and if you have yours already maybe think back to the magic that brought you together against all odds and relive it this valentines day.

Love love love x x x

 

 

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