Your mindset can heal your body beyond what food and supplements can do. It has taken me a long time to really connect to this thought but i have seen it over and over with clients. We often put a lot of effort into taking the right supplements, green juices and organic foods that is what our bodies need for fuel and to heal. But with every negative thought or judgment of yourself or others you counteract all that good work you’ve done. Don’t get me wrong eating junk and loving your self is not the road to health but eating well and not looking after your mind allowing ‘chatter’, doubt and self criticism that arises daily is not the answer either.
I use to think it was ok to talk to myself and beat myself up in my head. Tell myself I’m not pretty enough, slim enough, talented enough i’ve done it my whole life – hey we all do it, we are all stressed its normal right? . . . but it is not ok and we all do it and we all think the other person has an easier life clear of stress and negative thoughts. Well ladies we all have insecurities and we all think we are not good enough! WHY?
In my dream world we would all celebrate each other, support each other’s dreams and love our differences. We would not look at the girl across the street and think I wish I had her car or her hair or I wish my legs looked like hers or my job was as well paid full of envy and jealosy.
But we have all heard this before right? Well did you know that every negative thought about you or someone else surges Cortisol through your body and it can take up to 1 hour to process that and disperse it out of the body. It uses up vital minerals and nutrients and stops your body using your fat cells for energy and it therefore runs off of glucose instead which is needed for healthy brain. Meaning it keeps you in that “fight or flight’ state we hear so much about. The mind looks to the past for happy memories to release happy hormones making the future an anxiety fueled place to be. So ladies don’t do it. Live in the now!
Stop that ’chatter’ in your head and stop the negative banter and worry especially what others think of you. Live from your heart not your head, be truthful to yourself and your loved ones. We are all in a vulnerable state and need love. If you have someone in your life who judges you and does not give you what you need . . . maybe now is the time to shed yourself of him or her. You don’t need that in your life so only surround your self with those who make you feel great, support your life and when you come away from them feel secure in that relationship. You need to be surrounded by loved ones who get you without judgment and need things in return. It sound tough but in the long run of your life it is best for you.
Choosing your mindset is as easy as dropping guilt for an action you did in the past – hey you can’t change it and you can’t re-do it, so let it go . . . . I personally held that over myself for years, flogging myself with guilt, self hate, blame and hating the decisions I’d made. But at the time I just did my best with what knowledge I had. A big part of my healing was to forgive others and myself and ‘let it go!’
You choose your actions, mindset and path not your parents, lovers or friends so stop blaming them for your life. Yes others actions and your environment may have influenced you, but you have the choice of how you act or respond to life situations. You can either turn a bad situation in to a positive or let that toxic situation eat you up and make you unwell. Been there done that – no thanks!
When William was diagnosed I fell in to deep depression after struggling to cope for 2 years it was enough to break me. After hitting rock bottom and I mean rock bottom, with the amazing support of my husband a few great friends I worked my way back up and saw all the positives that can come out of out of our new life path. Like a chance to learn and grow and change, to clean up our lives from chemicals and toxins, eat cleanly, live within our means with joy and simplicity. Not to take material things for granted and to stop climbing ladders and striving for goals that are unreachable and unimportant and to share my journey and help others. I had to go through an element of grieving for the life I thought I’d have but now every decision we make or step we take we ask ourselves is this best for the boys our family and in line with our values. This has led us to set up our businesses and we have met some truly beautiful friends on our journey to health who have shown us what’s important.
We are told often to ‘let it go’ and my dearest girl friend and I often laugh at what that means when you’re stressed, up to your eyeballs and exhausted. But over time we have both learnt it means to forgive ourselves, to be kind to ourselves and to let the small things, like a clean floor or perfect makeup or being on time go. These things are all surface things. The true importance is love, health and wellness of mind and compassion for each and every person. The rest you can ‘let go’ really you can let it go and that comes from a control freak with OCD for a clean house haha, you should see my house now!
A few things that have helped me and still help when I fall off the mindset train of living from love and when I go back to my head and live in fear and with ‘chatter’ are:
Mediation: there is a common misbelief that to meditate you must have a totally blank mind. If you can achieve that, then that’s amazing. But you still get the benefits if you just slow down . . . breath deep belly breaths -In from your nose belly expand and out from your nose belly falls. Even 10 deep breaths will calm your nervous system down. If you find clearing your mind difficult focus on one thing like a candle flame or a tree and hold that thought for a long as you can. If stuff enters your mind sweep it away with a big brush and start again. Laugh at your thoughts and keep trying. Your ego wants to be “chatting” all the time. Don’t let it take over who you are. We use apps on our smart phones to start our mediation off each evening and they are handy if you are in the car before school pick up or a big work meeting. Yoga can help with this too and walking in nature daily.
Mickel Therapy: which is talking based therapy about taking action when an emotion arises and moving through it fast to clear you physical symptoms.
Homeopathy: which works on lowering your level of stress building your nervous system and supporting you whilst you heal. I have used Dhanvanatari Collage and also more recently Michael Higginson in Geelong to support me.
A gratitude diary: I write 3 things I am grateful for each night in my phone. This helps me see the positives in the day, even if there were more negatives. So that last thing I think about are positives. We do this with the boys each night too, we talk about their day and pick 3 great things that happened and not dwell on what they may have done wrong or if they were upset.
Debt Clearing: no matter how hard it is if there is something upsetting me or someone had said something that has hurt my feelings I clear the debt by talking it through and not going to bed on it. This means setting boundaries and protecting myself first. It does not mean confrontation or stomping back in to a shop because someone was rude to me. Just simple clearing the air so it does not fester and become a physical symptom.
Happy list: each week I look at my dairy and decide if the tasks in it are + or – and if I have more – than + I plan a trip to the movies, yoga or catch up with a friends or get my nails done to balance up the week. This is putting joy into my life. Making sure I don’t get bogged down with the task of mother hood and running a house or running a business and not going without joy and fun for my being. Its unrealistic to think I can spend my time just in the + zone but if I have a few to look forward to it keeps me from feeling a lack of joy. The body is amazing it likes joy and fun and if it doesn’t get enough it makes you go back in the mind to find it. So feed it joy and fun and show it love and it will keep you in the now and physically strong.
So . . .
When you feel you’re self ‘chatting’ in your head STOP be aware – take action – and practice – clear your mind and start again.
When you have a week of – plan some + joy and fun!
Write down your gratitude list each evening.
Debt clear every night and set boundaries so your not being hurt.
Put yourself first and remember to love yourself and do your self care daily be that a new nail polish, a cup of tea in peace or a day in a spa to unwind or talking to your best friend.
As woman we put our children, partners or bosses first . . . please stop that we come first!
I find as i’m a visual learner I write positive athermations on my walls, mirrors and on postie notes in my car and keep them on my phone to remind me how to think and act. If you are a kinetic learner maybe you could listen to self help books. Find what works for you. . . and roll with it!
The only person that can heal you is YOU! The only person that can truly make you happy is YOU!
Choose to be happy and to live in the now, not the past or future, as that is where anxiety and fear is bred from.
Namaste beautiful ladies x x x